Starbucks-like Depth.

            There is too much in common with the community one finds among Christians and the community that is found at a Starbucks. Starbucks is something a large percentage of Americans have in common. Many of them go there on the daily. It is the headquarters of the American hipster culture.

            When we see someone with a paper Starbucks’ cup and there is an immediate connection. A conversation can happen.

            “What do you drink?”

            “A skinny caramel latte. You?”

            “Oh, I drink…”

Our addiction to brand name coffee unites us on a large level. We have something in common with millions of other people, because Starbucks are uniform across the country.

            The depth of conversations in the Church has started to take on this surface level depth. This is for two big reasons; the first being that we change churches more than we change what we order at Starbucks. Sure, you can become a “regular” at one place (Either Starbucks or church), but as soon as the place goes a direction that doesn’t suit you personally its time to find another Starbucks/church to suit our wants.

            Churches should really be our homes, where we encounter our family. You are more than a regular. You are involved. When you are in a family you can’t just leave it when there is a disagreement or when someone changes the music on the radio. You have to work through it. It’s about more than you. It’s about the family as a whole. Even past that Church is about Jesus, it’s not about us.

            Christian community should have more depth with one another and more concern for one another. We are amazing at avoiding openness, honesty and depth. We hide what is going on in our lives by just saying “Fine.” to the “How are you?” question, no matter what is wrecking us personally. These brief encounters are only meant to be that. If someone opens up or pries we are blindsided.

            Should we not care about what Jesus is doing in people’s lives? Whenever I get asked that question I get thrown for a loop, because often I have been pushing Jesus to the back burner because of school and work. I have to fake an answer. If I got asked that question enough I would probably actually work to have a real answer for the people asking.

            To be open and honest with each other pushes us to shift from neutral to drive. Depth leads to getting challenged and pushed. It seems that our goal is to avoid that depth so we can stay in neutral for as long as we can for whatever reason. Pursuing righteousness is hard work and can get messy. We enjoy being lazy and clean, but we can’t stay that way.

            We tend to try to fake righteousness and live in blatant hypocrisy. Brothers and sisters should know us well enough to get us to pursue righteousness and the hypocrisy that comes from pursuing perfection and being human. We can’t escape being hypocrites (sinners), but we can strive to change. God can change us and he can use our friends to help with it.

            They should care so much about you that they refuse to let you allow yourself to stay the same. It’s just like Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” We have gotten to the point where if we are all equally dull we are all equally sharp, because we are afraid of the risks it takes to get sharpened, so we avoid it by avoiding showing people who we really are.

            If we really want to change we need to get out of being a “regular” and start being a family member. We need to be open and honest about our faults and be pushed toward Jesus, who can fix them.

Community Part III: Pride

            Community goes beyond just putting yourself out there and hoping to get accepted by the people you open up to. Community goes both ways. You also need to accept people who are by no means even close to perfect. They are just as messed up and dysfunctional as you are.

            I work with LifeGroups (our small groups) and the main reason that people say when they want to change to another LifeGroup is that they don’t mesh well with the people in it. Now I agree that you can’t be best friends with everyone you meet, but I think that when other people annoy you, you don’t realize that you are annoying yourself. Pride is a huge roadblock to community.

            Christ binds us all together under Himself. He is the key to community, not what music we like or what clothes we wear. Christ takes us beyond stereotypes and socio-economic status. Seeing Christ in other people and loving them like He tells us to is what leads us to accept others for who they are. If they are annoying that is something in us we have to deal with.

            Trying to check out of one group of community and into another one is a fix that won’t last. Eventually everyone is going to annoy you and you just need to get over it and see them as children of God. See them as more important than you are because they are. We are called to be lowly servants. We are called to love everyone. Don’t let pride get in the way.

Community Part II: A Call to Openness

            Achieving the community we desire is something that takes guts to do. Plain and simple. To experience what community was meant to be at some point you must in fact be open about some stuff  you would rather keep hidden within the depths of your soul. You’ve got to throw your junk on the table and get accepted and loved in spite of that crap. That is the essence of community. Being accepted and loved for who you really are.

            Personally I think that this relies on having Jesus in our lives. To know Jesus is to know that we all have crap in our lives. Crap that separates us entirely from God and each other. No matter how little or how deep and dark the secrets are, both equally separate us from God. Knowing Jesus hushes the voice in our heads that screams that we are better than other people. A new voice is found, a voice that says, “I am no better than anyone. Thank God that he saved me from myself.” Neither of you can get it right without God and others to help.

            Jesus is what unifies us (and makes us equal). He humbles us. Only knowing what Jesus did gives you this view, a view that allows us to embrace the weak (because we are weak) and the hated (because we are no longer filled with hate). Being open shows that we are not dependent on ourselves. We are dependent on others to help carry us along, both other people and especially God. We have to be open because there is no better way to live the life we have been called to.

Community Part I: A Flee From Intimacy

            I think that every human being has a desire. The desire that is shared by all of mankind is the desire to be accepted. It makes sense. The irony of this is that in wanting to be accepted so badly, we become afraid of not being accepted, of being rejected for who we truly are.

            Just looking at my own life I utilize different ways to maintain distance from people. I joke a lot. It is hard to get serious when you make comments that aren’t serious. A lot of times I’ll realize that I’ll put a joke or comment into a serious situation to lighten it up a little bit. It is at these times where who I really am can come out, so best guard against that happening.

            Another technique I use is entirely focusing on the other person. If I just ask them questions and get them to open up maybe I don’t have to. Insecurity in the guise of interest and concern. Not that I’m not interested and concerned, because I am, it just helps with hiding myself.

            Hiding is the ironic part of community. We desire it but we are afraid. We even increases the irony is that along with desiring community from people, we also desire from God, but there is not a being that we try to hide our crap from more. Whenever I commit a big screw up (a lot), I always just end up not talking to God about it for a while. I try to hide from the Guy who is everywhere. Not the smartest plan. Psalm 139 lets us know that we can’t escape him.

            I think that we need to be open with God and with each other to achieve the community that we desire, and in that we need to be loving and accepting of people for who they are. More on that next time.